OLMC Funeral Guidelines
July 1, 2009
Dear Friends in Christ:
What time may a funeral (Mass of Christian Burial) be scheduled at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church in Niles ? What about Bereavement Luncheons?
As we pray for our departed parishioners, their families and their friends, we offer a clear explanation that will help serve your needs, prevent potential misunderstandings, and be fair to the many activities of the parish, its pastor, its staff, and volunteers.
All funerals should be scheduled only after the family members, church secretary, pastor, and funeral director agree on a specific date and time. All funerals must be scheduled with respect to other activities in the church and its other facilities. We must also be fair to many people involved in this ministerial process. Time schedules can be complicated. Many demands are made of people. Most importantly, we must give due respect to the deceased and to surviving family members. No date and time for a funeral should be changed once proper procedures have been followed and a date and time have been agreed upon!
Funeral Masses at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church on Mondays must always be scheduled at 9:30 AM. We are sorry but we cannot allow exceptions to this rule. If a family wishes to have Monday morning calling hours on the same Monday as the Mass of Christian Burial, their calling hours should be scheduled at a time early enough that allows for the 9:30 AM Mass or the calling hours should be scheduled after the 9:30 AM Mass of Christian Burial and the Committal at the cemetery will be led by a Lay Leader of Prayer after the calling hours.
Funeral Masses on Tuesday through Saturday should begin at 9:30 AM. In some circumstances they may be scheduled to begin at 10:00 AM. Saturday funerals are always subject to weddings and other activities at the church. Some Saturdays involve the scheduling of multiple weddings and/or multiple funerals. Because of this, caution must be used.
Families need to be aware of the possibility that we will not be able to have a Mass of Christian Burial on a Saturday if previously scheduled events do not allow for respecting the needs of everyone involved.
Families need to be aware of the possibility that we will not be able to have a Mass of Christian Burial on a Saturday if previously scheduled events do not allow for respecting the needs of everyone involved.
For example: Suppose there is a 9:30 AM funeral, a 12:00 Noon wedding, a 2:30 PM wedding, 4:00 PM confessions, and the 5:00 PM Mass. There is only one priest at this parish. Because the priest is merely human, we simply cannot expect him to preside at yet another funeral on that Saturday!
We also need to consider the multiple and contrasting emotions and needs of people associated with weddings and funerals. Scheduling yet another funeral that day in the same church building would lead to the probability that the presence of brides attempting to get dressed, numerous preparations being made by grooms, bridesmaids, groomsmen, altar servers and florists, soloists trying to practice their music, etc., would interfere with the delicate and somber nature of a funeral. Also, the scheduling of yet another funeral that day would lead to the probability that the people whose wedding has been scheduled would have insufficient time to prepare the worship space, etc., for an entirely different celebration, and that’s unfair to them.
In rare circumstances, some families might request to schedule a funeral on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday at a time other than 9:30 or 10:00 AM. When this happens, the following factors must be kept in mind:
- The priest may not be available to go to the cemetery due to the fact he presides at 12:05 PM Mass. The family must choose between having the Committal Prayers in church or having a Lay Leader of Prayer lead the prayers at the cemetery. (We have well-trained males and females who serve in this capacity who have diocesan approval to minister to your needs in this way. Please welcome and support their services of love and consolation offered to you and your family by each and every one of these Lay Leaders of Prayer as you should welcome any servant of God.)
- An 11:00 AM weekday funeral may be scheduled only in very rare circumstances. This is mainly because of the fact we have a 12:05 PM Mass or a 12:05 Communion Service. This would require that the total number of people attending the funeral is most likely to be thirty or less. This would be expected only when there are very few survivors. An 11:00 AM funeral could never be scheduled on a Monday. An 11:00 AM funeral always requires the expressed approval of the Pastor, and he must be the one to preside and preach at that funeral on that day. Other priests are welcome to concelebrate.
- We are sorry but due to time constraints, no family members and no other priests would be permitted to share Words of Remembrance at 11:00 AM funerals. An 11:00 AM starting time for a funeral also requires that the Committal Prayers be led either in the church by the Pastor or by a Lay Leader of Prayer at the cemetery.
- Preparations must be made for the 12:05 PM Mass or Communion Service, and that the priest and people have unrushed & sufficient time to prepare for it. It is also imperative that both the 11:00 AM funeral and 12:05 PM Mass or Communion Service start on time.
- Afternoon funeral Masses must be scheduled to begin at 1:15 PM or later. These funerals must also be scheduled only after careful consideration of other obligations involving the church facilities and its personnel. Families must accept in advance the potential of additional financial responsibility to the cemetery should it be impossible to safely arrive at the cemetery for any and all reasons at a time consistent with the cemetery’s policies.
Our parish is delighted to assist families whenever possible with a bereavement luncheon in Marian Hall for a donation of any amount or even free of charge if circumstances so warrant. This is not a parish fundraiser. It is a ministry of love. We do not seek to make a profit here, we just want to cover our expenses if possible. In every case, please know that our parish can host a maximum of only one bereavement luncheon per day.
ALSO: IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT NO BEREAVEMENT LUNCHEON BE SCHEDULED UNTIL THE PASTOR OR CHURCH SECRETARY HAS CHECKED OFFICIAL MARIAN HALL AND CHURCH SCHEDULING CALENDARS. THE PASTOR OR CHURCH SECRETARY MUST ALSO CONSULT WITH THE COORDINATOR OF THE LUNCHEONS, AND THEN MUST WRITE THE DECEASED PERSON’S NAME ON THESE OFFICIAL CALENDARS IN THE APPROPRIATE DATE AND TIME SLOTS. THIS WILL ENSURE THAT NO OTHER EVENT CONFLICTS WITH THE NEED FOR SUFFICIENT TIME, SPACE, PERSONNEL, AND PROPER DECORUM.
All of us share the same goals. We want to make sure that we can celebrate the departed person’s life, respect the legitimate needs of the parish’s staff and volunteers, and help everyone who ministers and those who mourn prayerfully open their hearts to the presence, strength, & consolation of the Lord. This is best accomplished when we eliminate the potential stress of unnecessary and truly preventable misunderstandings. Thanks for your help!
Yours in Christ,
Father Larry Frient
WHAT DOES THE CATHOLIC CHURCH TEACH CONCERNING CREMATION AND BURIAL OF CREAMATED REMAINS?
July 1, 2009
Dear Friends in Christ:
What does the Catholic Church Teach Concerning Cremation & Burial of Cremated Remains?
To answer this question in an empathetic, pastoral, and accurate manner, I share with you the following information. It is taken from the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops web site. (See www.usccb.org/liturgy/cremation.shtml.)
I ask that even if you choose not to read this entire summary, please pay close attention to the brief yet clearly stated paragraph in the box printed here:
“While cremated remains may be buried in a grave, entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium or even buried at sea, "the practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires." (Order of Christian Funerals 416.)”
The rest of this letter quotes directly from the summary concerning the position of the Catholic Church concerning cremation and burial of cremated remains follows:
“Recent events have brought to the fore questions regarding the practice of the cremation of a body and burial at sea. Diocesan offices for worship might find this an opportune time to renew catechesis on these questions for the benefit of pastors and pastoral ministers.
A helpful summary of the Church's teaching on cremation may be found in the 1998 statement of the Bishops' Committee on the Liturgy, "Reflections on the Body, Cremation and Catholic Funeral Rites."
"The Church's belief in the sacredness of the human body and the resurrection of the dead has traditionally found expression in the care taken to prepare the bodies of the deceased for burial."(Order of Christian Funerals (abbreviated OCF) 411)
"This is the body once washed in baptism, anointed with the oil of salvation, and fed with the bread of life. This is the body whose hands clothed the poor and embraced the sorrowing. Indeed, the human body is so inextricably associated with the human person that it is hard to think of a human person apart from his or her body. Thus, the Church's reverence and care for the body grows out of a reverence and concern for the person whom the Church now commends to the care of God." (OCF 412)
Thus, while "cremation is now permitted, it does not enjoy the same value as burial of the body...The Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the deceased be present for the funeral rites, since the presence of the human body better expresses the values which the Church affirms in its rites." (OCF 413) However, "when extraordinary circumstances make the cremation of a body the only feasible choice, pastoral sensitivity must be exercised by all who minister to the family of the deceased." (OCF 414)
The rites for burial of the cremated remains of a body may be found in the appendix to the Order of Christian Funerals. This appendix recommends that when cremation is chosen, the body be cremated after the Funeral, thus allowing for the presence of the body at the Funeral Mass. When pastoral circumstances require it, however, cremation and committal may take place even before the Funeral liturgy.
Any catechesis on the subject of cremation should emphasize that "the cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to the corporeal remains of a human body. This includes the use of a worthy vessel to contain the ashes, the manner in which they are carried, the care and attention to appropriate placement and transport, and the final disposition." (OCF 416)
While cremated remains may be buried in a grave, entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium or even buried at sea, "the practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires." (OCF 416.)
The cremated remains of the body may be properly buried at sea in the urn, coffin or other container in which they have been carried to the place of committal.”
(So ends the material quoted from the source provided by the Bishops.)
If a dear relative or friend has passed recently, or if you are pre-planning your funeral or that of a loved one, we hope this information will guide your decision in a manner that gives proper respect to our beloved deceased Catholics and upholds the Church’s teachings.
Know that I welcome the opportunity to guide you through your decisions and answer other questions you may have.
Yours in Christ,
Father Larry Frient